Here Comes Satanic Claws - Episode 44

Can Falk and The Cherry Pachyderm neutralize the ho, ho, horror of Satanic Claws? How can you hear stockings hung from a mantle? Do Christmas carols satisfy the burn barrel acapella doo wop ordinance? Find out!

Here Comes Satanic Claws, episode 44 of This Gun in My Hand, was composed by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. Makes a great gift! Who knows if you’ve been bad or good? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Remember in episode 24, “Consulting Defectives” when Falk inspired Latthew Morressier to become The Cherry Pachyderm?

2. Falk: “The Review of Radical Political Economics? How did you get your hands on this?” Falk is surprised anyone in his era (1939-ish) could get a copy of this journal because it wasn’t published until 1969. Personally I have no opinion whether they “[strain] the limits of their subject area to comment on odd current events and pop culture.” That’s Falk’s conclusion.

Credits:
The opening music was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), a film in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: fork scraping metal 3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/humanoide9000/sounds/328525/

Sound Effect Title: bell 5.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/patchytherat/sounds/534260/

Sound Effect Title: Sleigh bells 90 bpm loop.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/soundstack/sounds/255104/

Sound Effect Title: Cat Meow2.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/steffcaffrey/sounds/262313/

Sound Effect Title: Cat Meowing.mp3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/lextrack/sounds/333916/

Sound Effect Title: cats getting food
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/finalCrystine/sounds/170382/

Sound Effect Title: Cat Meow At Night
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/EminYILDIRIM/sounds/595239/

Sound Effect Title: My Cat Leah Opines.m4a
By DAVIDSUTTON
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/DAVIDSUTTON/sounds/521371/

Sound Effect Title: Body Fall2.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/deleted_user_2104797/sounds/325269/

Sound Effect Title: G29-60-Group of Women Screaming.wav
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438420/

Sound Effect Title: R28-47-Man and Woman Screaming.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/482833/

Sound Effect Title: R09-66-Close Up Burning Fire.wav
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/483310/

Music Title: "Hark the Herald Angels Sing"
Composer: Felix Mendelssohn, arranged by William H. Cummings
Lyrics writer: Charles Wesley, with revision by George Whitefield
Performance artist: United States Army Band (i.e. "Pershing's Own"), led by Thomas Rotondi, Jr. and Debra L. McGarity
License: Public domain composition, lyrics & performance.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:U.S._Army_Band_-_Hark!_The_Herald_Angels_Sing.ogg

Sound Effect Title: Matt's Beatbox Harmonies Loop (100 bpm)
By Mattc90
License: Public Domain.
https://freesound.org/people/Mattc90/sounds/203977/

Closing Music Title: Here We Come A-wassailing
Performed by the chorus of U.S. Army Band "Pershing's Own", led by Colonel Thomas Rotondi, Jr. (Leader & Commander) and CSM Debra L. McGarity (Command Sergeant Major) c. 2010.
License: Public domain composition, lyrics and performance.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:U.S._Army_Band_-_Here_We_Come_A-wassailing.ogg

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Santa Claus Funnies, No. 61 (December 1944). Public domain, artist unknown.

The Roan Ranger - Episode 43

What deadly plans do these two strange gunmen have for Falk? Is that a horse or a cow? What’s the second best place in the world to see theatre and musicals? Find out!

The Roan Ranger, episode 43 of This Gun in My Hand, was wrangled by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. How we supposed to top that? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The burned farmhouse that The Roan Ranger and Tronno are investigating was the site of a shoot-out between The Phantasm and jewel thieves in Episode 13, “OnlyPhantasm.” Later in that episode, Falk, The Phantasm and his colleague Paul confronted The World Crime Syndicate. More recently the farmhouse was destroyed during a larger battle between the World Crime Syndicate, Defenders of the Hearth, G.I. Jake and several other heroes from the Tri-State Area (an event mentioned but not depicted in Episode 37, “Strikeforce Shakespeare”).

2. There’s a hoodlum named “Scar” with an Italian accent in an episode of Green Hornet (“Sales Tax Racket, broadcast October 17, 1939). Falk apparently thinks this is the same guy because of his accent. In fact, there’s a bad guy named “Scar” in an episode of the Lone Ranger. Maybe Scar from the Old West was the great uncle of Scar from Green Hornet’s time?

3. “Ma Roan” was first mentioned in episode 17, “The Long, Dark Night Vision Scope of the Soul.”
https://thisguninmyhand.blogspot.com/2021/04/the-long-dark-night-vision-scope-of.html

Credits:
The opening music was The William Tell Overture Part 4 (Finale), composed by Rossini, performed in 1915 by Victor Symphony Orchestra, under direction of Rosario Bourdon. The closing music was from the public domain film Killer Bait (1949). Music from the "Mac Med" ad was from the public domain film Black Cobra 2 (1989). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

“The curtain falls” and “now we return” clips of narration are from a public domain episode of the Lone Ranger radio show titled “Snake Oil,” broadcast June 13, 1938.

Title: R28-44-Women Screaming and Rapid Talking.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/479894/

Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
Recorded by Mike Koenig
http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

Sound Effect Title: HORSE BLOWS FARM AMBIANCE.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/ohmypro/sounds/400702/

Sound Effect Title: horse’s whinny
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Kubuzz/sounds/347036/

Sound Effect Title: horse.mp3 (whinny)
By: 3bagbrew
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/3bagbrew/sounds/59569/

Sound Effect Title: Amb Hipica + Renill.wav (whinny)
By CraterZounds
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/CraterZounds/sounds/189282/

Sound Effect Title: G38-15-Perfect Horse Whinny.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/437110/

Sound Effect Title: 20060419.horse.neigh.wav
By dobroide
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/dobroide/sounds/18229/

Sound Effect Title: R13-19-Muffled Hooves.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/479691/

Sound Effect Title: Horse Galloping.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Max_Headroom/sounds/175356/

Sound Effect Title: Horses.WAV (walking)
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Ornery/sounds/233345/

Sound Effect Title: SFX - Horse - Walk.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/MrFizzywig/sounds/581833/

Sound Effect Title: Egg Timer, Ticking, Ringing
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Kinoton/sounds/468081/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Masked Rider Western magazine (November 1938). Public domain, artist unknown.

Pillow Falk - Episode 42

Who needs that many pillows? What’s that smell? No, not the corpse, I mean the really bad smell. Why would anyone intentionally make a candle smell like that? Listen and find out!

Pillow Falk, episode 42 of This Gun in My Hand, was fluffed and molded by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What’s warm and emits a comforting fragrance? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. One of the gimmicky characters from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was a humanoid skunk named Stinkor. A horrible fragrance was added to the plastic as the figure was molded. Collectors say that even thirty years later, the dolls still smell. What did they use to achieve the timeless stench? Patchouli oil.
https://gizmodo.com/12-insane-facts-about-he-man-and-the-masters-of-the-uni-1619470015

2. Det. O’Davenport’s Irish accent is partly inspired by Mike Axford in the Green Hornet radio show. Axford seems to be comic relief, and one of those almost-vaudeville era bits where just doing an Irish or Italian or Swedish accent somehow amounted to comedy. See also Chico Marx.

Credits:
The opening and middle transitional music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Shop door bell.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/775noise/sounds/494565/

Sound Effect Title:Body fall_02.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Adam_N/sounds/346694/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of a panel from the public domain comic book Dark Mysteries, No. 2 (August-September 1951). Art maybe by Bill Molno?

Dial M for Merlot - Episode 41

How did the Queenpin of Crime get Falk’s phone number? Why is she calling so late and slurring her words? Oh. Oh! Listen right now!

Dial M for Merlot, episode 41 of This Gun in My Hand, was fermented in small batches by Rob Northrup. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. How did I get your number? This Gun in My Hand!

This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog.

Show Notes:
1. Regina is confused. The first person who claimed, “Acoustics are funny in Parabellum City. Everybody sounds alike,” was Petra in Episode 5, The Quiz Scam, not Falk.
2. Cristobal Bronski is not related to Blackagar Boltagon.
3. I know how to pronounce “hearth,” but Emerald Ash Borer doesn’t.
4. Falk apologizes to Emerald Ash Borer for the big super battle (“Secret Wars on Critical Hearths”, Episode 37, Strikeforce Shakespeare) because the whole thing was engineered as a diversion by Falk. 

Credits:
The opening music clip and the music just before the commercial were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

The barber shop quartet is a clip from a Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer commercial. Not sure what year it’s from. Public domain. 

Sound Effect Title: RotaryDialPhone.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Sailor55/sounds/265491/

Sound Effect Title: telephone.mp3 (ring)
By Werra
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Werra/sounds/78565/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Boy Loves Girl No. 28 (October 1952). Public domain art by Fred Kida.