It Was a Dark and Stormy Reading of the Will - Episode 112

Will a mansion full of monsters and ghouls scare Falk Zildjian away from doing his duty? Will hearts be torn out or tamed? Is there anyone here besides us chickens? Listen to find out!

It Was a Dark and Stormy Reading of the Will, episode 112 of This Gun in My Hand, was carried out according to the final instructions of Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What ensures that I get good deals at thrift stores? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Watching The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (1966), The Bat (1959) or House on Haunted Hill (1959) will not necessarily prepare you for this episode, but it’d be a good excuse to put off listening to this episode.
The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UyPC24qfI4
The Bat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td3OM8jbBJQ
House on Haunted Hill: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jsnw-RNGKFY

2. This Gun in My Hand is perpetually set in 1939. Patsy Kelly’s next movie after 1939 was released in October 1940, The Hit Parade of 1941, also known as Romance and Rhythm. Her reputation was enough to get her listed on the posters for this film, and pictured on some of them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hit_Parade_of_1941#/media/File:Hit_Parade_of_1941.jpg

3. The audio and text of This Gun in My Hand are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, real organizations, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, organizations, places and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

4. Clacton-on-Sea is east and a little north of London, but it’s not in what they consider East London.

Credits:
The opening and middle transitional music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title: Let Me Call You Sweetheart (I’m in Love With You)
Music by Leo Friedman, lyrics by Beth Slater Whitson, 1910.
Performed by Carter’s Orchestra, 1924.
License: Public Domain
https://archive.org/details/carters-orchestra-let-me-call-you-sweetheart-brunswick-3541-b

Sound Effect Title: R30-28-Classic Thunder Clap.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486273/ 

Sound Effect Title: S23-19 Thunder claps; variation edit of Universal’s “Castle Thunder”.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/675991/ 

Sound Effect Title: G46-06-Treble-Heavy Thunder Crack.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438743/ 

Sound Effect Title: G28-27-Crowd Fast Walla Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438387/

Sound Effect Title: chugging diesel (bus) and rev.MP3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/CraftyIndividual/sounds/418436/

Sound Effect Title: bus coach ext pull up brake air release idle.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/kyles/sounds/454420/

Sound Effect Title: Bus Closing Door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/am7/sounds/520753/

Sound Effect Title: DoorKnockerVarious.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/136544/

Sound Effect Title: Creaking door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/333929/ 

Sound Effect Title: Creaking Door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/709418/ 

Sound Effect Title: Slam door.MP3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/SoundsForHim/sounds/395653/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Cutlery drawer
License: Public Domain
http://soundbible.com/591-Cutlery-Drawer.html

Sound Effect Title: Glass Bottle Breaking
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/IENBA/sounds/607910/

Sound Effect Title: S10-19 Falling wooden beam; big interior crash; house collapses; long.wav
by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/675967/ 

Sound Effect Title: Foley_Footsteps_ShedWoodenFloor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/523273/ 

Sound Effect Title: 175bpm_classical_running_freak.wav
By giacomelli
License: Creative Commons Sampling+
https://freesound.org/s/95763/ 

Sound Effect Title: TUBE POP.wav
By sandyrb
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/102540/

Sound Effect Title: R27-20-Small Crowd Gasps.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480774/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of the public domain comic book This Magazine is Haunted, Number 9, February 1953. Artist might be Sheldon Moldoff.

I Think You Better Come See This - Episode 65

What terrifying vision compels the Wordsmith to summon Falk Zildjian, and why can’t he just explain it over the phone? Listen to find out!

I Think You Better Come See This, episode 65 of This Gun in My Hand, was written, performed, edited and produced by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What’s keeping you from just describing the situation over the phone? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. This episode was partly inspired by an episode of Deep Space Nine in which someone told Sisko over a communicator, “I think you better come see this,” because the writers wanted to show and not tell, I guess.

2. The first pre-sweetened cereal was Ranger Joe Wheat Honnies, produced in 1939. It was similar to the puffed wheat cereals still produced today under the names Golden Crisp and Honey Smacks. Jesse Rogers starred as Ranger Joe on a Philadelphia tv station from 1950-1952.

3. Listen to the fake commercial in episode 59, “Publisher War Zone,” for more details about Pizzicato, formerly the Parabellum City Area Transit System.

3. That’s a real commercial in the middle of this episode. Listen to Blazed All Our Lives wherever you find podcasts.

Credits:
The opening and middle transitional music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Dial tone taken from short instructional film Introduction to The Dial Telephone (1936).

Title: Traffic mel 1.wav
By malupeeters
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/

Sound Effect Title: telephone.mp3 (ring)
By Werra
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Werra/sounds/78565/

Sound Effect Title: House Front Door Inside 3.wav
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/saturdaysoundguy/sounds/388027/#

Sound Effect Title: Kitten Meowing.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/lolamadeus/sounds/196251/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Phantom Detective, Vol. 53, No. 1 (March 1949). Art by Rudolph Belarski. Public domain.

Vivant You - Episode 40

Is this creature from the shadows planning to drink Falk’s blood? Or worse -- hypnotize him into becoming a distributor of nutritional supplements and cleaning products? Find out!

Vivant You, episode 40 of This Gun in My Hand, was brought back from death by Rob Northrup. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities or Dungeons and Dayjobs. What do I see emerging from the darkness? This Gun in My Hand!

This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog.

Show Notes:
1. Some of the things “Biff” says in this episode are talking points actual recruiters used on me in the late 1980s. Another guy at school said they gave him the same spiel, claiming he could become a nuclear engineer, slapping dollar bills on the desk and saying, “Here’s forty thousand dollars for college!” Also I don’t think of Falk as overweight but I wanted to repeat the story of the recruiter telling me to do neck roll exercises so I could qualify for a job I wanted nothing to do with. Words of wisdom from my dad: “The difference between being in prison and being on a ship in the Navy is you’re less likely to drown in prison.”

2. Here’s a history of the innuendo-laden expression “come up and see my etchings”:
https://wordhistories.net/2020/01/11/come-see-my-etchings/

Credits:
Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

The opening and closing music are taken from “Dracula,” the first episode of Mercury Theatre on the Air, broadcast live on July 11, 1938. Public domain.
https://archive.org/details/TheMercuryTheatreontheAir/Mercury+Theater+1938-07-11+-+01)+Dracula.mp3

Machine gun sound from the public domain film Commandos (1968).

Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot)
By Carmelomike
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of The Phantom Detective, July 1940, public domain art by Rudolph Belarski.