This Gun in My Coffin - Episode 26

Is this the end of Falk Zildjian? Who’s paying for the funeral home? Was it an accident or murder? Is there another casket with the rest of his remains? Find out!

This Gun in My Coffin, episode 26 of This Gun in My Hand, marking the end of Season Two, was laid to rest by Rob Northrup. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What will stop the forces that seek to end This Gun in My Hand? This Gun in My Hand!

This Gun in My Hand is also available on Youtube, including auto-generated closed captions in case you’d like to read the dialog.

Show Notes:
1. The “bustle in the pub” sound clip that I’ve used before for background hubbub was a little too jovial and boisterous for a funeral visitation, so I created my own hubbub. I recorded and overlapped myself reciting “My Rifle - Creed of The United States Marine,” part of the Quality of Mercy speech from Merchant of Venice, lyrics from "Fight the Power" by Public Enemy, and Ezekiel 25:17 (Pulp Fiction Translation). 

2. When Arthur Conan Doyle got sick of writing Sherlock Holmes stories and tried to kill him off permanently, he had Sherlock and Moriarty plummet from Reichenbach Falls.

Credits:
The opening and first transitional music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music title: Requiem in D minor, K. 626 - III. Sequence - Lacrymosa (For Piano - Liszt)
Performed by Markus Staab, CC-BY
Composed by Mozart, arranged by Liszt?
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://musopen.org/music/43683-requiem-in-d-minor-k-626/ 

Title: Cloth Flaps
By Sauron974
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Sauron974/sounds/188733/ 

Sound Effect Title: Wood Break.boaay
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/BOAAY/sounds/520720/

The image associated with this episode is a modified detail from page 20 of the public domain comic book Dark Mysteries No. 2 (August-September 1951). Art maybe by Bill Molno.

Nick Carper and the Evaporating Arsonist - Episode 25

Dime novel detective Nick Carper gets help from Falk on a flaming hot case. What’s the secret to Nick’s perpetual youth? Who’s gonna pay for that door? What’s this stuff? Did you try it? Listen to find out!

Nick Carper and the Evaporating Arsonist, episode 25 of This Gun in My Hand, was written, recorded and edited by Rob Northrup. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. Where’s that smoke coming from? This Gun in My Hand!

This episode is also available on Youtube, and in audio formats other than mp3 on archive.org.

Show Notes:
1. The first story about Nick Carter was published September 18, 1886 in New York Weekly, so you’d think a 135-year-old character would be in the public domain. But the name is still trademarked, which is why I had to f***ing re-record it as “Nick Carper” throughout this episode. Here’s more info if you’ve never heard of the subject of this parody, the evolving character Nick Carter:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Carter_(literary_character)

You can download hundreds of dime novels and pulps free from archive.org or Northern Illinois University: https://dimenovels.lib.niu.edu/ 

2. Jack Armstrong, the All-American Boy was a real radio show that ran from 1933-1951. When Hanna-Barbera couldn’t or wouldn’t secure rights to create a Jack Armstrong cartoon in the 1960s, they filed off the serial numbers and called it “Jonny Quest.”

3. After his studio closed in 1936, animator Ub Iwerks did contract work for Leon Schlesinger Productions and Columbia Pictures’ cartoon division, according to his entry on Wikipedia.

4. The clicking sound in the Life commercial was, indeed, a Ruger 1911 pistol cocking, used to represent the sound of a pistol tapped on a tabletop.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music from just before the Life commercial: The Fairy Queen, Z. 629 - Sing While we Trip it Upon the Green (For Recorders - Papalin)
By Papalin
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://musopen.org/music/11140-the-fairy-queen-z629/

Sound effect title: Gun Fire
By GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound effect title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x
Recorded by Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot)
By Carmelomike
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Kicking/Forcing/Breaking Wooden Door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/qubodup/sounds/160213/

Sound Effect Title: Wood Break.boaay
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/BOAAY/sounds/520720/

Sound Effect Title: R28-47-Man and Woman Screaming.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/482833/

Sound Effect Title: Impacts_Splatter_Watermelon_001.wav
By duckduckpony
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/duckduckpony/sounds/204024/

Sound Effect Title: Pumpmkin Guts Squish 1.aif [sic]
By MWLANDI
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/MWLANDI/sounds/85862/

Sound Effect Title: 1911 Pistol Cocking
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/J.Anthracite/sounds/465488/

The image associated with this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Nick Carter Magazine, Vol. 1, No. 2 (April 1933). Public Domain. Art by Jerome George Rozen?

Closed Captions for all episodes on Youtube

I've been weighing whether to post transcripts of episodes for people with hearing impairments. It would be a lot of work and I don't know if there's anyone listening to episodes, let alone clamoring for more accessible versions. Anyway, I noticed that Youtube is automatically creating captions for all the episodes I post there. It's not perfect but more accurate than I expected. If you'd like to read the dialog all the way back to the first episode, navigate to This Gun in My Hand playlist on Youtube. If you'd like to see full scripts posted here on the blog, give me a little clamoring. You can post comments on the blog or contact me on Twitter @evilbobdayjob.

Consulting Defectives - Episode 24

A horde of half-baked heroes besieges Falk with questions. How will he bear up under the onslaught by The Green Prepper, The Roboteer, The Cherry Pachyderm, and Alan? Hear the answers!

Consulting Defectives, episode 24 of This Gun in My Hand, was shepherded by Rob Northrup. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What Child is this -- Who laid to rest -- On Zildjian's lap is sleeping? This Gun in My Hand!

This episode is also available on Youtube, or in audio formats other than mp3 on archive.org.

Show Notes:
1. “Ma Desty” is inspired by Melinda. When she puts together an ensemble she likes, revealing almost no skin except her hands and face, or she wants to express approval of someone’s similar fashion sense, she’ll exclaim, “Modesty!” So far she hasn’t punched anyone for failing to meet her dress code.

2. I really create web-crawling robots. It’s even less exciting than the ones made by The Roboteer.

3. Ha, you thought web-crawling robots were going to be anachronistic, didn’t you? If This Gun in My Hand were solidly set in the early 40s, the anachronisms in this episode would be thermonuclear war, The Destroyer novels, Sixties Mod fashions, Vespa scooters, the terms miniskirt and microskirt, and microwave ovens. Zyklon B was used as a pesticide in Germany since the Twenties, so it’s not impossible someone would have heard of it, just unlikely. 

4. My Ma told me the elephant jokes in this episode, plus these:

     Why shouldn’t you walk in the woods between three and four in the morning?
     Because that’s when elephants jump out of the trees.
     Why are alligators flat?
     Because they walk in the woods between three and four in the morning.

5. RFK said, “Some men see things as they are and ask, ‘Why?’ I dream things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’" It sounded a lot better when he said it.

Credits:
The opening music was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Music Title: Flight of the Carpenter Bee
By Steven Arntson
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://archive.org/details/Bildungsroman-7512

Title: Mount Moganshan Insect Chorus
By: RTB45
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/RTB45/sounds/325321/
Insect chorus recorded one summer evening, Mount Moganshan, Zhejiang Provence, People's Republic of China

Sound Effect Title: Car_motor_Sound.m4a
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Blizzard123/sounds/504633/#

The image associated with this episode is a modified detail of the cover of New Detective Magazine, Vol. 17, No. 2 (February 1952). Public Domain. Artist unknown.

Huckster Racket - Episode 23

Why has Bill Narrator Sr. been replaced by a droning, folksy storyteller from public radio? Which medical plan is better? Can Falk just watch a movie and have a peaceful weekend for once in his life? Find out!

Huckster Racket, episode 23 of This Gun in My Hand, was perpetrated by Rob Northrup. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What would I use to get a cloned Ike BAR? This Gun in My Hand!

This episode is also available on Youtube, and in audio formats other than mp3 on archive.org.

Show Notes:
1. Here’s a list of symptoms of Type 2 Diabetes from the American Diabetes Association.
https://www.diabetes.org/diabetes/type-2/symptoms

2. Garrison Narrator incorrectly says, “Falk Zildjian didn’t shoot The Human Resource, or anyone else that day.” But in his opening narration, he said Falk shot the gun out of the hand of Hank Peterson.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music under Garrison Narrator: “Tishomingo Blues”
Written by Spencer Williams, published 1917.
Performed by The All Star Stompers, 1947. Music and performance in public domain. I also used the applause from end of recording.
https://archive.org/details/78_tishomingo-blues_the-all-star-stompers-wild-bill-davison-albert-nicholas-jimmy-arch_gbia0004684b/

Sound effect title: Traffic mel 1.wav
By malupeeters
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/

Sound effect title: Gun Fire
By GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound effect title: Dry Fire
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/brianhanson2nd/sounds/171211/

Sound effect title: HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.WAV
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/olver/sounds/505064/

Title: Park ambience - mostly birds
License: public domain
https://freesound.org/people/Mafon2/sounds/274175/#

Machine gun sound taken from the public domain film Commandos (1968).

The image associated with this episode is a modified detail of the cover of public domain comic book Racket Squad in Action, No. 1 (May-June 1952). Pencils by Albert Tyler, inks by Bob Forgione.

The Old Shell Game

 Full page from Racket Squad in Action, No. 1 (May-June 1952). Public domain. Artist unknown.