Domestic Harmony - Episode 70

What’s that unbearable sound coming from the basement of Roberto and Jennifer Zapata, aka Wordsmith and The InforMatron? No, not the hum of their supercomputer. What’s that other sound? Will they survive? Listen to find out!

Domestic Harmony, episode 70 of This Gun in My Hand, was composed and arranged by Rob Northrup (just the words, not the music). This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What sound will you harmonize with? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The horse that Wordsmith bets on in this episode is named after the space ship “We Never Agreed To This” in The Consuming Fire by John Scalzi.

2. This is not a test of the emergency broadcast system. The background operational sound of the InforMatrix is a modified kalimba and the fungal ululation is produced by drawing through the 6th and 7th holes of a Hohner Hot Metal harmonica in the key of G, eventually shifting to just the 7th hole. Technically I don’t think they’re harmonizing, but at least they stop sounding dissonant.

3. Yes, there are annoying background sounds throughout the whole episode, added by design. Please don’t complain about my amateurish audio engineering until you hear the full episode for context. You will receive an instantaneous full refund whether or not you are satisfied, because your cost was zero shekels, zero dogecoin, zero shoplifted bottles of Tide (our preferred currency).

4. When I say this episode was “composed and arranged by Rob Northrup,” I mean it was written, edited, performed and all functions carried out by Rob Northrup unless otherwise noted. I don’t mean to take credit for the amazing “Bouncy Gypsy Beats” by John Bartmann, used as theme music for Wordsmith and The InforMatron, or the other music used in this episode.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), a public domain film. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Theme for the radio show “Information Wants to Be Free, But For You It’s Two Bits” and closing music this time:
Music Title: Bouncy Gypsy Beats
By John Bartmann
License: Public Domain
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/John_Bartmann/Public_Domain_Soundtrack_Music_Album_One/bouncy-gypsy-beats/

Sound Effect Title: polite_applause_08.wav
By joedeshon
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/joedeshon/sounds/119028/

Sound Effect Title: Sitcom Laughter 9x, Small Audience
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Kinoton/sounds/383207/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: aww.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/phmiller42/sounds/124996/

Sound Effect Title: Dopey Beeps
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/venicesurf/sounds/209363/

Sound Effect Title: Computer Beeps 2
By LPHypeR
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/LPHypeR/sounds/564590/

Sound Effect Title: modem_dial.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/0ktober/sounds/188828/

Sound Effect Title: Rockfall in mine
By Benboncan
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/Benboncan/sounds/60085/

Sound Effect Title: Bricks/Stones/Rocks/Gravel Falling
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/iwanPlays/sounds/567249/

Sound Effect Title: Kitten Meowing.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/lolamadeus/sounds/196251/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Scientific Detective Monthly, Volume 1, Number 3 (March 1930) by Jno Ruger. Public domain. The entire issue is available to read at https://comicbookplus.com/?dlid=39015

Heck's Pantry for the Holidays - Episode 69

How will Petra’s plan for a romantic holiday be ruined by a meet cute? Why is her uncle afraid she’ll kill him? Listen to find out!

Heck's Pantry for the Holidays, episode 69 of This Gun in My Hand, was romanticized by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. If you’re still in the mood for holiday pulp adventure, listen to episode 44, “Here Comes Satanic Claws.” What time is it? [Gun shot.] This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Do you realize how much research I put into this show? While looking up Polish dishes for the St. Wladislaw’s Ladies’ Auxiliary fundraiser cookbook, I found a recipe for Bigos (Polish Hunter’s Stew) and cooked it, really in real life.
https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/polish_hunters_stew/

2. Falk adds the letter “s” to pluralize “gołąbki,” not realizing the word is already plural. The word for one Polish cabbage roll is “gołąbek.” Uncle Verne and I felt it was too complicated to correct him during the show.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title: O Christmas Tree
By massi_1130
License: Creative Commons Sampling Plus 1.0
https://freesound.org/people/massi_1130/sounds/27706/

Music Title: Parade of the Wooden Soldiers
Composed by Leon Jessel, 1897
Performed by United States Air Force Band of Mid-America, Concert Band
License: Public Domain
https://www.music.af.mil/Multimedia/Music/Public-Domain-Music/

Sound Effect Title: Shop door bell.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/775noise/sounds/494565/

Sound Effect Title: Knife slice
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/NeoSpica/sounds/504610/

Sound Effect Title: Metallic Whoosh.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/MissCellany/sounds/240640/

Sound Effect Title: Swoosh.wav
By Brsjak
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/Brsjak/sounds/482880/

Sound Effect Title: fwunk.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Reitanna/sounds/264149/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Body Fall2.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/deleted_user_2104797/sounds/325269/

Sound Effect Title: Porte open close.wav
By Slanesh
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Slanesh/sounds/31768/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire
By GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the front cover of Super-Mystery Comics, Vol. 6, Number 4 (February 1947), public domain, pencils and inks by Warren Kremer, colorist unknown.

Full Credits

Written by Robert Thomas Northrup 

Directed by Robert Thomas Northrup

Produced by Robert Thomas Northrup

Starring Robert Thomas Northrup

Celebrity voices impersonated by Robert Thomas Northrup

Edited by Robert Thomas Northrup

Created by Robert Thomas Northrup

Sponsored by Robert Thomas Northrup

Continuity by Robert Thomas Northrup

Research by Robert Thomas Northrup

Graphics compiled and modified by Robert Thomas Northrup

Sound effects compiled by Robert Thomas Northrup

Video adaptations by Robert Thomas Northrup

Music rarely by Robert Thomas Northrup (except where otherwise noted)

Foley artist: Robert Thomas Northrup (except where otherwise noted)

Best Boy Electric: Robert Thomas Northrup

Key Grip: Robert Thomas Northrup

Webmaster: Robert Thomas Northrup

Technical support by Robert Thomas Northrup

Marketing by Robert Thomas Northrup

Accounting services provided by Robert Thomas Northrup

Mister Northrup's wardrobe provided by Goodwill.

This Gun in My Hand is supported by a grant from the Ladybuglandia Foundation.

A production of Awkwardly Media, which is a name under which to hide everything Rob self-publishes, because self-publishing gets a bad wrap. You know that Samuel Clemens and Dumas and Dickens and Tolstoy and Jane Austen and Hemingway and Poe and a bunch of other writers beloved by the ages published some of their own works? So check yourself.

For the "otherwise noted" parts, see posts of individual episodes.

Great sites where I find public domain or Creative Commons licensed sound effects, music and graphics: Freesound.org, Archive.org, Wikimedia Commons, DigitalComicMuseum.com, Musopen.org, FreeMusicArchive.org

Last updated 20 January 2023

The audio and text of This Gun in My Hand are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Text & audio on this blog are © 2021 by Robert Thomas Northrup, licensed under CC-BY-NC-ND 2.5.

The Three Stugots - Episode 68

Three familiar wiseguys lead the Howard crime family. How will Falk counter their unique fighting style? Why would you bring a slapstick to a gunfight? Listen to find out!

The Three Stugots, episode 68 of This Gun in My Hand, was clamped in a vise as it was crafted by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What will I deliver to you by French airmail? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. “With the electric rifle, Tom and friends bring down elephants, rhinoceroses, and buffalo, and save their lives several times in pitched battle with the red pygmies,” according to the Wikipedia entry on the 1911 novel Tom Swift and His Electric Rifle.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swift_and_His_Electric_Rifle

2. I try to restrain myself from explaining all the allusions and inside jokes, but not today. This Gun in My Hand is set in 1939 or thereabouts, so Jerome is accurate when he guesses he might live another 12-13 years. He passed away 13 years later in 1952. In real life, his role was later filled by his brother Samuel, Joe Besser and Joe Wardell (real name, Joe DeRita).

3. Anna May Wong became a big star around 1924, earlier than mentioned here. According to Wikipedia, “...Wong's career would continue to be limited by American anti-miscegenation laws, which prevented her from sharing an on-screen kiss with any person of another race, even if the character was Asian, but being portrayed by a white actor.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_May_Wong

4. The vise attached to Jerome’s desk was a gift from the judge in Disorder in the Court (1936).

5. Their pie delivery boy was a costumed hero who could leap over tall buildings. He got a better offer and went “National” – as in National Allied Publications, which later became DC Comics.

6. Falk is confusing the Howard crew with those other guys, Abbott & Costello, whose “Bagel Street/Floogle Street/Susquehanna Hat Company” Vaudeville routine was similar to the Howards’ “Niagara Falls!”

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music before and after the commercial was from the public domain film serial Flash Gordon’s Trip to Mars (1938).
https://archive.org/details/flash-gordons-trip-to-mars-chapter-10

Sound Effect Title: House Front Door Inside 3.wav
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/saturdaysoundguy/sounds/388027/#

Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: ice grinding cracking freezing designed.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/kyles/sounds/452645/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail from the novel cover of The Judas Goat (1953), painted by Rafael Desoto.

Warner Blunders - Episode 67

Will Falk be receptive to the warnings of The Warner? How will he escape from a circle of nineteen gunmen? Will that even be resolved by the end of the episode? Listen to find out!

Warner Blunders, episode 67 of This Gun in My Hand, is incredibly unsafe, and the person responsible for putting the public at risk in this manner was Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What will keep you safe from fingers bluffing as pistols in pockets? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Vaguely inspired by the “Cracktoberfest” podcast series on Behind the Bastards and Hood Politics with Prop.
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/cracktoberfest-part-one-constructing-the-crack-102740713/

2. Falk overcame the terrifying danger of quicksand in Episode 5, “The Quiz Scam.”

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Musical sting for “The Warner” taken from the opening theme of the public domain film The Scar (1948, aka Hollow Triumph).

Carter’s Little Liver Pills radio commercial, date unknown. Public domain, as far as I know.
https://www.oldradioworld.com/media/Vintage%20Commercials%20Carters%20Little%20Liver%20Pills.mp3

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Gusto magazine, Vol. 1, Number 1 (October 1957). Artist unknown. Hopefully public domain.

Fighter Flight - Episode 66

An acquaintance of Falk's has dates to the barn dance with two women on the same night. Can Falk steer them away from catastrophe? Will guns be involved? Listen to find out!

Fighter Flight, episode 66 of This Gun in My Hand, was piloted by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What would make you join a group of aviation-themed crime-fighters? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Take a sharp right at the end of Diagon Alley and you end up in Terf Alley.

2. The surname Cusamano was taken from a character on The Sopranos. Martha Raye (1916-1994) was a comic actress and singer. Raydeen was one of the Shogun Warriors robots. Moscardino is an Italian name that can refer to types of hawk or sparrowhawk, according to the internet.

3. “Flick Zoltan” was a fake name Falk used in Episode 12, “Made in the Shade.” “Flinch Zipjam” was a sad sack version of Falk from a parallel dimension, introduced in Episode 51, “Flinch Zipjam in the Negative Space.”

4. Captain Fearless, Captain Fight, Captain Flag, Captain Freedom, Sergeant Twilight, Captain Glory, Captain Valiant, and Captain Victory are names of actual public domain superheroes. When Falk and Gilbert talk about Captain Marvel, they mean the one from Fawcett Comics, not the later versions from Marvel Comics.

Credits:
The opening and middle transitional music clips were from the public domain film The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950). Songs used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music at the barn dance, in order:

Music Title: Mystery!
Composed by Milton Ager, Joseph A. Cirina, Cliff Hess and Howard E. Johnson.
Performed by Paul Biese’s Novelty Orchestra
Recorded December 16, 1919
License: Public Domain
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Antique_Phonograph_Music_Program_Various_Artists/Antique_Phonograph_Music_Program_05052009/Mystery_1254/

Music Title: He Used To Be Your Man But He’s My Man Now
Composed by Perry Bradford
Performed by Johnny Dunn’s Original Jazz Hounds, vocals by Edith Wilson
Recorded December 14, 1922
License: Public Domain
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Antique_Phonograph_Music_Program_Various_Artists/Antique_Phonograph_Music_Program_272012_Live_from_Brooklyn_Farmacy__Soda_Fountain/Edith_Wilson_And_Johnny_Dunns_Original_Jazz_Hounds_-_07_-_He_Used_To_Be_Your_Man_But_Hes_My_Man_Now_1788/

Music Title: Hillbilly Swing
By Kevin MacLeod
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://filmmusic.io/song/5705-hillbilly-swing

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine, May 1941, painted by Bradshaw Crandell.

I Think You Better Come See This - Episode 65

What terrifying vision compels the Wordsmith to summon Falk Zildjian, and why can’t he just explain it over the phone? Listen to find out!

I Think You Better Come See This, episode 65 of This Gun in My Hand, was written, performed, edited and produced by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, information on how to subscribe, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What’s keeping you from just describing the situation over the phone? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. This episode was partly inspired by an episode of Deep Space Nine in which someone told Sisko over a communicator, “I think you better come see this,” because the writers wanted to show and not tell, I guess.

2. The first pre-sweetened cereal was Ranger Joe Wheat Honnies, produced in 1939. It was similar to the puffed wheat cereals still produced today under the names Golden Crisp and Honey Smacks. Jesse Rogers starred as Ranger Joe on a Philadelphia tv station from 1950-1952.

3. Listen to the fake commercial in episode 59, “Publisher War Zone,” for more details about Pizzicato, formerly the Parabellum City Area Transit System.

3. That’s a real commercial in the middle of this episode. Listen to Blazed All Our Lives wherever you find podcasts.

Credits:
The opening and middle transitional music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Dial tone taken from short instructional film Introduction to The Dial Telephone (1936).

Title: Traffic mel 1.wav
By malupeeters
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/

Sound Effect Title: telephone.mp3 (ring)
By Werra
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Werra/sounds/78565/

Sound Effect Title: House Front Door Inside 3.wav
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/saturdaysoundguy/sounds/388027/#

Sound Effect Title: Kitten Meowing.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/lolamadeus/sounds/196251/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Phantom Detective, Vol. 53, No. 1 (March 1949). Art by Rudolph Belarski. Public domain.