Lyrics to The Ballad of Falk Zildjian (The Parabellum Citybillies Theme)

Come and listen to a story 'bout a fella named Falk
Careful how you say his name or people start to talk.
Well one fine day he was shootin' at some fools
who was counterfeitin' skee-ball tickets in a grade school. 

[Spoken:] Abandoned grade school, that is. Boiler room. 

Now first thing you know, Falk’s on the radio.
This Gun in My Hand is the name of his show.
Weren’t too long, he had the villains on the run.
Indomitable hero by virtue of the fact that he carries a gun.

Yer gun makes you the hero so you do the best you can.
Papers called him "menace" cuz they couldn’t spell Zildjian.
They said, "Parabellum is the place ya oughta be!"
He said, "I’m already there" and he shot 'em in the knee. 

[Spoken:] The bad guy, that is. Not the newspaper men. I wish I could write rhymin' lyrics better so’s I wouldn’t have to clarify with these spoken sections. 

Announcer: The Parabellum Citybillies! 

Come and listen to a story 'bout some poor mountain folk.
Depression and the dustbowl ain’t no joke.
We packed up our troubles and we headed west fast.
You wanna know more, read The Grapes of Wrath. 

[Spoken:] The novel, that is. Steinbeck. Hard times. Injustice. 

Announcer: The Parabellum Citybillies!