Monday, May 11, 2026

How to set up a podcast with no budget

I call This Gun in My Hand a podcast with no budget, a cast of one and a crew of one, but there are negligible costs. At some point I bought a microphone for $15. It had one of those microphone jack plugs which meant I couldn't use it anymore after I got a new laptop that had no microphone port. After that, I started recording sound through my phone and uploading it to my laptop for mixing. 

Apart from that, I'm giving this advice with the assumption that you have enough free time to write, record and edit your show. If you're doing an unscripted podcast, maybe writing and editing aren't necessary. I assume you have a laptop, microphone and/or phone that can record or edit sound files, and that you have electricity and internet connection. 

Here are some steps to follow if you want to do it yourself without spending any other money.

1. Create a website that has an RSS feed.
To be considered a podcast or picked up by most podcast apps or websites, you'll need a website and a way to turn posts on your website into an RSS feed. I think I started off setting up a free site on blogspot dot com. That was gobbled up by blogger dot com, but you can still do most of the same things there as far as I know.

Register on the site. Search within the site or search the web for how to set up an RSS feed. That's a sort of web address that can be used by apps or other websites to keep track of your latest posts or blogs. When you're running it as a podcast, those apps will take the first mp3 or audio link on each blog post and treat it as your podcast episode. Be careful if you want to link to somebody else's podcast episode or any other audio file in a blog post, because that might mistakenly get treated as a new episode on your podcast.

2. Write a script.
Or don't. Whatever. I'm doing an audio drama so I write a script with a bunch of notes about how lines should be delivered, what music or sound effects to use at different points. You could improvise an audio drama if you're amazing and/or fearless. Anyway, I write bits and pieces which I compile into an episode. Then I go over it and over it until I get sick of it and decide it's as ready as it'll ever be.

3. Record your episode.
If recordings made on your phone or laptop sound clear enough, go for it. I imagine audio aficionados cringe when they hear my recordings. They can sense what microphone is being used, the ambient temperature and humidity in the room as you were recording, and which hillside the grapes were grown  on for the merlot you sipped as you were recording. They'll never be satisfied. Get two of them talking about which brand of turntable or record needle is superior and you can sneak away and get back to recording.

I downloaded a phone app called "Voice Recorder." I'm trying to act out different voices so listeners can tell the characters apart. If I'm doing a Southern accent or a gravelly voice or a high-pitched teenage girl, it would be difficult to go back and forth from one accent or type of delivery to another, recording all the lines in a row. So I record all the lines from one character, then start a separate audio file for another character. After I finish recording, I transfer them from my phone to my laptop to edit them.

4. Edit your episode.
Or don't. I can't twist your arm. You're gonna do what you want. 

I use Audacity. It's free to download. It's been around for years so there's lots of discussion on the web or Youtube videos advising how to use it, ranging from basic instruction for beginners to specific things like how to make a robotic voice. I know maybe 10% of all the functions and tools available in it. 

5. Host audio files for your episodes somewhere.
This part might be confusing because you already created your website with RSS feed. The episodes get hosted on that website, right? No. Or maybe they could be. I should probably read up on that. What I do is post audio files of my episodes on archive.org. Then I copy the url of the audio file on archive.org, and I paste that into my blog post. If you want to do it that way, you'll need to create an account there.

Archive.org will host your stuff if you let it be public domain or if you use a Creative Commons license. That means you're allowing listeners or users of your stuff to copy it and share it under certain conditions. You might allow people to share it as long as they say you created it (CC BY or "Attribution" license). Or you might allow people to share it as long as they don't make money off it (CC BY-NC or "Attribution-NonCommercial" license). Or other options. If you want to keep full copyright, you might need to find a different website to host the audio files.

6. Promote it.
I post links to new episodes on social media and different groups that seem like they'd be interested. Places where they wouldn't consider it to be spam, or they allow this kind of spam. I am not great at this. If you find a good way to get attention without dumping money into it, tell me what I'm doing wrong.

7. BONUS! Put pictures on it.
Audio is great. Audio is enough. But people love their dang video and some of them still think a picture is worth a thousand words. You could post your own art or photos on your blog, including on each episode post. I don't trust my own art so I find public domain or CC licensed photos and art from websites like digitalcomicmuseum.com or archive.org or Wikimedia Commons, or searching Google and selecting Tools > Usage Rights. I use a free image editing tool, paint.net, and make collages or just take parts of images. I use those in my blog posts and upload them to archive.org with each episode.

Then because Youtube might still be the second most popular search engine, I create short videos consisting of only that one still image and all the audio. I'm not saying you should "pivot to video." I'm saying supplement your audio by making a version for Youtube addicts who never leave that site.

8. Wallow in cash as you bask in all the glory and attention you will receive.
Ha! Just kidding. Get involved with some groups or online communities and at least you can exchange episodes, get feedback, maybe exchange promo commercials. Have fun! Things that don't make money are worth doing.

Saturday, May 9, 2026

The Buck Fifty Special - Episode 150

In a theater district with bright lights, eight people mill about the street with a crowd of others silhouetted in the background. There’s a policeman standing with arms behind his back, a man in top hat and a woman both in formal attire. A man with a mustache in a blue suit looks at his watch as he leans against a mailbox. An older man with a bowler hat and cigar reads a newspaper. A blond woman wears pearls, heavy makeup, a pink blouse that’s falling off one shoulder, a wide black belt and tweedy skirt, her braceleted hand on her hip. In front of her is a man in a brown fedora and trenchcoat with green shirt and red bowtie. He gazes to one side with his mouth slightly open and a cigarette in the corner of it. An older, slightly jowly high society dame wears pearls, a wide brimmed pink hat with yellow flowers on top, red hair that might be dyed, penciled eyebrows, rouged cheeks, a fluffy white fur collar.
What extravaganza does Falk have planned for his 150th episode? Or is the big event out of his control? Why does it have to be about him all the time? Listen to find out!

The Buck Fifty Special, episode 150 of This Gun in My Hand, was specialized by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I gather all my friends for a big event? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. In Public Relations Writing class at Eastern Michigan U, my prof used to repeatedly joke that “there’s a lot of love in this room.”
2. Falk explored the realm of stereo in Episode 83, “The Multitracks of Madness.”
https://archive.org/details/tgimh-83-multitracks-of-madness

Credits:
Music in this episode came from these public domain films:
The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and Too Late for Tears (1949, aka Killer Bait). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Creaking Door by eqavox
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/709418/ 

Sound Effect Title: Wood_Creak_02.wav by dheming
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/177779/ 

Sound Effect Title: Foley - Feet shuffling and sweeping on carpet by RavenWolfProds
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/503659/ 

Sound Effect Title: Crowd walla by knufds
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/504906/ 

Sound Effect Title: Weed Eater 16bit 48kHz ZOOM R24.wav by DK77
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/322182/ 

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: PA microphone feedback (2).wav by FreqMan
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/42930/ 

Sound Effect Title: R02-06-Medium Crowd Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480682/ 

Sound Effect Title: Light Applause by ojosdedurazno
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/391326/ 

Sound Effect Title: G28-27-Crowd Fast Walla Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438387/

Sound Effect Title: small group applauding (48/24) by neilraouf
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/484513/ 

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x by Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

Sound Effect Title: Machine gun.wav by CGEffex
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/101962/

Sound Effect Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot) by Carmelomike
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

Sound Effect Title: S18-25 Rifle shots battle.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675666/

Sound Effect Title: 22lr Caliber Rifle Shots and Reloading
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/717133/

Sound Effect Title: gun lee enfield 303 rifle fire shot loud badass crispy.wav by kyles
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/450852/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Along the Broadway Beat by Louis Sobol (1951), art by Ray Johnson.

Sunday, April 5, 2026

Love at First Sound - Episode 149

In colorful comic book line art, a young man and woman embrace and kiss passionately. Both have black hair. He wears a long sleeved red shirt. She wears a blue blouse. They’re surrounded by a green leaves and magnolia flowers and branches with blue jays on them. Above them in script letters are the words “Love At First Sound.”

How do you convey love at first sight on an audio-only medium? What does that sound like? What in tarnation has got into you? Listen to find out!

Love at First Sound, episode 149 of This Gun in My Hand, was [finger pop from mouth][side of mouth razz][quick burst of siren whistle][GUN_FIRE] by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. This episode is dedicated to Melinda [TING], and to our good friends Patrick and Anita celebrating their honeymoon on Ganymede. [Ting, Ting!] What’s the best way to coax the delicate flower of love to blossom? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. I keep trying to make a joke that shows on shortwave radio are second-rate compared with FM radio. Melinda, being a longtime expert, reminded me that people in our time like Alex Jones, ReviewBrah and various cult leaders have to pay extra to have their shows broadcast on shortwave. So maybe it should be considered a status symbol instead of a mark of weakness.

2. Listeners have already heard The Cherry Pachyderm’s real name, Latthew Morressier, during his first appearance in episode 24, “Consulting Defectives.” He forgot but I didn’t.
https://archive.org/details/tgimh-24-consulting-defectives

3. It came out sounding like I’m dragging hillbillies for hoping their kids take the same job their father and grandfather had, but it’s not what I intended. I think this expectation is similar for people all over the US. Even though my grandfather (the master plumber) and my dad (the steamfitter) would be glad I got an office job instead of following in their footsteps, there’s a part of me that feels like I let them down by taking a different path.

Credits:
Music in this episode came from these public domain films:
The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), Too Late for Tears (1949, aka Killer Bait) and The Big Combo (1955). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: Run-Out Groove of a 78 RPM Record – Archival Noise Texture by Auroch_Media
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/440733/ 

Sound Effect Title: Xylo N&D 72 C4.aif by beskhu
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/273879/ 

Sound Effect Title: Glockenspiel_46_f4_04 by cabled_mess
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/348924/ 

Sound Effect Title: Piano Note.wav by kelsey_w
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/s/467047/ 

Sound Effect Title: medium wine glass.wav by Tairblenn
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/549900/

Sound Effect Title: Car_motor_Sound.m4a
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Blizzard123/sounds/504633/#

Sound Effect Title: Traffic mel 1.wav by malupeeters
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/

Sound Effect Title: Clothing_ShirtsandPants_Rustling.wav by duckduckpony
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/204016/ 

Sound Effect Title: Heels on Pavement.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/B.Harkins/sounds/683658/

Sound Effect Title: banjo song.mp3 by Prime45
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/522715/ 

Sound Effect Title: Toy Gun 7
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/giddster/sounds/434720/

Sound Effect Title: laser gun
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Superglue28/sounds/499696/

Sound Effect Title: Horse Whinny 1.wav by GoodListener
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/s/322445/

Music Title: Händel’s Messiah
Composed by Georg Friedrich Händel
Performed by Orchestra Gli Armonici
License: Public Domain
https://musopen.org/music/5876-messiah-hwv-56/

Music Title: Fugato in e minor, BWV 962
Composed by Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750)
Performed by Gunnar Johansen
License: Public Domain
https://musopen.org/music/45623-fugato-in-e-minor-bwv-962/

Sound Effect Title: Tarzan Yell by Buster Crabbe from Tarzan the Fearless (1933)
License: Public Domain

Sound Effect Title: Boing.wav by juskiddink
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/140867/ 

Music Title: Munniharppua.ogg
By ElectricToothpaste
License: Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 4.0
via Wikimedia Commons
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Munniharppua.ogg

Sound Effect Title: Siren Whistle 02.wav by FreqMan
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/88425/ 

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Confessions of Love, July 1952, Number 11, art possibly by Manny Stallman, AC Hollingsworth and/or Norm Nodel. Public Domain.

Image Alt text: In colorful comic book line art, a young man and woman embrace and kiss passionately. Both have black hair. He wears a long sleeved red shirt. She wears a blue blouse. They’re surrounded by a green leaves and magnolia flowers and branches with blue jays on them. Above them in script letters are the words “Love At First Sound.”

Sunday, March 29, 2026

The Yeast of These My Brethren - Episode 148

Print magazine ad for Ironized Yeast featuring a photo of a woman in a striped bathing suit next to a comic strip. A word balloon above the woman in the photo has her saying ‘If men “hate the sight of you”--read this–.’ In the first panel of the comic, two young men run past an emaciated woman in a black one-piece bathing suit. One of the men says, “Let’s beat it__here comes that skinny dame.” The second ad shows the skinny dame seated wearing a short sleeve top with possibly ragged sleeve edges. As she reads a newspaper with a prominent ad headlined “GAIN 10 LBS,” she says, “Men hate the sight of me, I’m so skinny. I’m going to try Ironized Yeast.” The third panel has a black arrow labeled “A FEW WEEKS LATER” pointing towards the action. A smiling woman filling out a bikini, no longer a skinny dame, poses with one hand on hip and the other on the back of her hair. A young man in dark shorts holds her bicep in one hand, saying, “You’re gorgeous since you’ve gained weight!” Two other men in the background run towards them. Across the bottom, large letters read, “THOUSANDS OF SKINNY GIRLS GAIN 10 TO 20 LBS.–QUICK!”
How will Falk take down a bank robber when aromatic, freshly minted heroes keep getting in the way? What’s their origin story? You own some carnival rides? Listen to find out!

The Yeast of These My Brethren, episode 148 of This Gun in My Hand, was punched into shape by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and would it kill ya to buy my books? Such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. Why do they always need irradiated chemicals when the best origin is This Gun in My Hand?!

Show Notes:
1. From the Bible, King James Version, Matthew 25:40: “And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

2. Obvious mistake I didn’t notice until after recording. Beer Man says he gained his powers last week. Then he mentions using his powers for three months. Continuity is hard! A no-prize will be awarded to anyone who rationalizes those statements.

Credits:
Music in this episode came from these public domain films:
The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and Too Late for Tears (1949, aka Killer Bait). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Ironized Yeast Tonic radio commercial, vintage unknown, assumed to be public domain.
https://www.oldradioworld.com/media/Vintage%20Commercials%20Ironized%20Yeast.mp3

Sound Effect Title: 22lr Caliber Rifle Shots and Reloading
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/717133/ 

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: Kimmokkeita / Ricochets by YleArkisto
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/YleArkisto/sounds/401921/

Sound Effect Title: Metal Frame.mp3 by TheBoulder3400
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/636096/ 

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: Hose Sounds.mp3 by JazzyBay
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/JazzyBay/sounds/435052/

Sound Effect Title: Spraying water from a garden hose by meisterjaan
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/s/323485/ 

Sound Effect Title: Leather Car Seat 2 by Filmscore
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/830202/

Sound Effect Title: Car_motor_Sound.m4a
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Blizzard123/sounds/504633/#

The image accompanying this episode is a modified version of a print ad for ironized yeast, assumed to be public domain, date and artist unknown.

Image Alt text: Print magazine ad for Ironized Yeast featuring a photo of a woman in a striped bathing suit next to a comic strip. A word balloon above the woman in the photo has her saying ‘If men “hate the sight of you”--read this–.’ In the first panel of the comic, two young men run past an emaciated woman in a black one-piece bathing suit. One of the men says, “Let’s beat it__here comes that skinny dame.” The second ad shows the skinny dame seated wearing a short sleeve top with possibly ragged sleeve edges. As she reads a newspaper with a prominent ad headlined “GAIN 10 LBS,” she says, “Men hate the sight of me, I’m so skinny. I’m going to try Ironized Yeast.” The third panel has a black arrow labeled “A FEW WEEKS LATER” pointing towards the action. A smiling woman filling out a bikini, no longer a skinny dame, poses with one hand on hip and the other on the back of her hair. A young man in dark shorts holds her bicep in one hand, saying, “You’re gorgeous since you’ve gained weight!” Two other men in the background run towards them. Across the bottom, large letters read, “THOUSANDS OF SKINNY GIRLS GAIN 10 TO 20 LBS.–QUICK!”

Sunday, March 22, 2026

Episode Archive

1. Skee-Ball Racket

2. The Whole Story

3. Not So Heroic

4. Good Guys vs. Good Gals

5. The Quiz Scam

6. Want To Be Heroes

7. The Only Thing That Stops a Few Bad Apples

8. Zildjian's Pal, Lemmy Jolson

9. Invasion of the Emerald Ash Borer

10. You're Tellin Me

11. Curse of the Bubbe

12. Made in The Shade

13. OnlyPhantasm

14. Naked Save

15. Gun Buyback

16. How Many

17. The Long, Dark Night Vision Scope of the Soul

18. Unboxing Murder

19. Sidekickoff

20. Infern-O-Scope

21. The Vaudevillain

22. Caught Offguard

23. Huckster Racket

24. Consulting Defectives

25. Nick Carper and the Evaporating Arsonist

26. This Gun in My Coffin

27. Hardly Boiled

28. Volumes of Daddy Issues

29. Escape From Greektown

30. Army of Emmas

31. Take A Powder

32. The Highwayman

33. The Land Lord

34. 2 Fast 2 Boggan

35. Crypt O' Knight

36. D is for Dirigible

37. Strikeforce Shakespeare

38. Why We Fight

39. Time-Bomb in a Clock Shop

40. Vivant You

41. Dial M for Merlot

42. Pillow Falk

43. The Roan Ranger

44. Here Comes Satanic Claws

45. Can You Say Falk

46. Who Do You Think You Are

47. Heist Row Maestro

48. All Fashion Police Are Fabulous

49. Newsy Duel

50. The Shady Aviator

51. Flinch Zipjam in the Negative Space

52. Goodbye, Honey

53. Struggle Session

54. Look Out, Moon Featuring Captain Rogers

55. This Frog in My Hand

56. Please Kill Responsibly

57. Cultivating Leverage

58. Dew Drop Innuendo

59. Publisher War Zone

60. Hush, Sweet Zildjian

61. The Boy Who Cried What's That Thing in Ya Hand

62. Can We Talk?

63. Eye Captain and The Wannabes of Tomorrow

64. They Don't Call Me Spy Detainer

65. I Think You Better Come See This

66. Fighter Flight

67. Warner Blunders

68. The Three Stugots

69. Heck's Pantry for the Holidays

70. Domestic Harmony

71. The Ink-Stained Corpse

72. Undeniable Narrator

73. Escalating Pitch

74. Fly Away Home

75. A Gross of Goons

76. Trail of Tentacles

77. In The Clutches of The Cuttlefish

78. Speed Detective

79. Shadow Taxi

80. Second String

81. Any Other Name

82. Out of Ideas

83. Multitracks of Madness

84. Falk Meets Fantomas

85. Sultry, Salty and Desperate

86. You Must Remember That

87. Trailmaster

88. Plan of Attack

89. Parallel

90. Nursery Crimes

91. Dungeon of Suspense

92. Falk's Brain

93. A Match Made in Heck's Pantry

94. Seduction of the Ignorant

95. Ad Space

96. Merch and Destroy

97. How Did This Gun in My Hand Get Made

98. Do Androids Dream of His Girl Friday?

99. Rats in a Cage Match

100. Parabellum City Passes a C-Note

101. World of Whispers

102. Fievel Getcha Ten

103. Violent Vacation with Peruvian Guns

104. Watching the Defectives

105. Spoonful of Lugers

106. Murder at the Job Fair for Dicks

107. No Large Bills

108. Zildjian's Away to Shropshire

109. They Can't All Be Bangers

110. This Gun is My Hand

111. Cut Down in His Prime

112. It Was a Dark and Stormy Reading of the Will

113. Don't Kid a Kidder

114. The PunGent Cleans Up

115. The Assassination of Yip Harburg by the Coward Fan Mail

116. Debut Taunts

117. The Chilling Horror That Grinds and Wiggles

118. Scrapping at the Escarpment

119. Hapless Hack of Gazpacho Gulch

120. Journey Into Fiasco

121. Uniquely Heroic Americans

122. Certainly No Angels

123. Go to Health

124. I Have Her MAC-10

125. This Hun in My Gland

126. A Song of Brass and Ash

127. Clash of the Story Boys

128. Lips That Yearn

129. No Accounting for Taste

130. Shoot the Moon

131. Johnny Got His Gun in My Hand

132. A Very Special Thirty-Eight

133. On Her Majesty's Secret Scamper

134. This Banjo on My Knee

135. Falk Meets Mat Ban

136. The Bitter Tears of Petra Wojciehowicz

137. Gold Dentures

138. Black Cats and Bad Habits

139. Bottle Episode

140. Passage to the Orient

141. Bringing a Gun to a Fistfight

142. When the Revolution Scrums

143. Dead End on Holiday Road

144. Humoresce Anecdotage

145. This Wrench in My Gears

146. On the Gunny Side of the Street

147. The Downside of Uplifting

148. The Yeast of These My Brethren

149. Love at First Sound


Mini-Series

Most episodes are meant to stand on their own, but a few are directly connected to each other as mini-series.

Hardly Boiled (episodes 27-31)

The Cuttlefish (episodes 76-77)

Dungeon of Suspense (episodes 91-92)


Unofficial Pilot Episode

The Liability of Keiko (Sept. 7, 2020) - Before I wrote and posted the first episode of This Gun in My Hand on October 14, 2020, I made this one-shot audio drama, a brief exchange between El Hornet Verde and his faithful valet Kato, I mean Keiko. 

You might also enjoy The First Kato, a non-fiction biographical piece about Raymond Tokutaro Muramoto, the voice actor who originated the part of Kato on The Green Hornet radio show.


Thursday, March 12, 2026

The Downside of Uplifting - Episode 147

An etching of a farmhouse with trees to the sides, a cart or wagon in front of it, and a mountain or hill rising behind and to the side. The lines are dark brown and all the background is pale custard.

Will Falk survive a journey through the gentle but confounding borderlands of the Tealight Zone with a bloodthirsty villain on his trail? Will they put him in gaol? ¿Qué onda, güero? Listen to find out!

The Downside of Uplifting, episode 147 of This Gun in My Hand, was lifted upside down by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my wholesome books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I say goodnight? With This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The creator and narrator of The Waltons, Earl Hamner Jr., got his big break in Hollywood when one of his scripts was accepted for The Twilight Zone. I swear I didn’t find that out until this episode was half finished.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Hamner_Jr.

2. The actor Will Geer was a bisexual communist who pled the fifth in front of the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1951 and somehow managed to come back as the wholesome Zebulon “Grandpa” Walton in the 1970s.
https://travsd.wordpress.com/2019/03/09/will-geer-queer-communist-and-as-american-as-apple-pie/

3. For more stories about Half-Pint stealing a Native American baby and her Pa stealing gold, read Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities by Rob Northrup. Available in ebook and paperback at
https://www.amazon.com/Little-Heist-Woods-Revisionist-Atrocities/dp/B0DPDGW52B/

4. Juan-Boy gets mugged in Wheeling, West Virginia in season one, episode 20, broadcast Feb 8, 1973. I mean, if there had been a tv show called The Wholesomes, that’s when it might have been.

5. Other more or less wholesome tv shows I love are Cranford, Return to Cranford, and Lark Rise to Candleford, which are not mentioned in this episode because they were covered adequately in Episode 108, “Zildjian’s Away to Shropshire.”
https://archive.org/details/tgimh-108-zildjians-away-to-shropshire

6. For the record, I didn’t copy the exact audio of harmonica and xylophone notes from any tv show. I recreated it with an actual harmonica (one chord, not very difficult) and one pre-recorded xylophone note. Took me twenty minutes of manipulation to sound more or less right.

Credits:
Music in this episode came from these public domain films:
The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and Too Late for Tears (1949, aka Killer Bait). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Guest starring Melinda as Abuelita (Esther Wholesome)!

Sound Effect Title: G17-03-Barnyard with Chickens.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438149/ 

Sound Effect Title: R24-06-Barnyard Ambience.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/479606/ 

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps on gravel by Joozz
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/Joozz/sounds/531952/

Sound Effect Title: Xylo N&D 72 C4.aif by beskhu
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/273879/ 

Sound Effect Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot) by Carmelomike
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: Crickets.wav by ItsTheGoodstuff
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/656116/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of a public domain etching print titled “Landscape with Six Single Trees and Three Small Farm-Houses” by Augustin Hirschvogel (1503-1553).
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Augustin_Hirschvogel,_Landscape_with_Six_Single_Trees_and_Three_Small_Farm-Houses,_NGA_37108.jpg  

Image Alt text: An etching of a farmhouse with trees to the sides, a cart or wagon in front of it, and a mountain or hill rising behind and to the side. The lines are dark brown and all the background is pale custard.

Sunday, February 22, 2026

On the Gunny Side of the Street - Episode 146

A red pictogram of an elephant on a circular white background, surrounded by more red. The whole thing is shot through with light and dark gray flecks as if rusted or distressed.

What if this beautiful day is just a dream? What if it’s a story contrived by someone with ulterior motives? What does a guy gotta do to get some shut-eye around here? Listen to find out!

On the Gunny Side of the Street, episode 146 of This Gun in My Hand, was brought to light by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. With what do I pierce the veil between our illusory existence and the dark truth underlying it all? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. For Cherry Pachyderm’s arguments that chili does not exist, listen to episode 73, “Escalating Pitch.”
https://archive.org/details/tgimh-73-escalating-pitch

2. In an earlier episode, Cherry Pachyderm describes the emblem on his chest as a cherry tree. The elephant is hiding in the cherry tree so you can’t see it. People were confused by his emblem and started calling him “Cherry Tree,” so he changed it to a red elephant at some point. [This is a retcon. Outside of the story, I just forgot what his emblem was and thought it was always an elephant. I caught this mistake before recording the episode and wrote dialog for him to explain it, but it was too boring. Now it’s a little lagniappe for people who read the show notes!]

3. After Cherry mentions the germ theory of disease, I was going to make a dig at RFK jr’s preferred “miasma theory” of disease. But it’s supposed to be a happy story to take your mind off our grim reality.

Credits:
The opening and closing music in this episode came from two public domain films, The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950) and Killer Bait (1949). Most of the music and sound effects are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Perfect SongBirds (Seamlessly Loopable) by DreamSavvyr
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/s/781115/

Sound Effect Title: Park ambience - mostly birds
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/Mafon2/sounds/274175/#

Sound Effect Title: children1.mp3 by yacou
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/s/190894/ 

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: FEETHmn-MCU_Footsteps, On Grass_Nicholas Judy_TDC by designerschoice
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/s/807862/

Sound Effect Title: hamp rope creaks by 6polnic
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/s/231438/ 

Music title: On the Sunny Side of the Street
Composed by Jimmy McHugh (some think it was Fats Waller)
Lyrics by Dorothy Fields
Performed by Ted Lewis and his Band, 1930
License: Public domain
https://archive.org/details/78_on-the-sunny-side-of-the-street_ted-lewis-and-his-band_wave

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail from this public domain photograph:
Title: Detail view of terrazzo floor medallion - National Zoological Park, Elephant House, 3001 Connecticut Avenue NW, Washington, District of Columbia, DC.
Photographer: Rosenthal, James W.
License: Public domain
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Detail_view_of_terrazzo_floor_medallion_-_National_Zoological_Park,_Elephant_House,_3001_Connecticut_Avenue_NW,_Washington,_District_of_Columbia,_DC_HABS_dc-777-C-26.tif

Image Alt text: A red pictogram of an elephant on a circular white background, surrounded by more red. The whole thing is shot through with light and dark gray flecks as if rusted or distressed.

Sunday, January 25, 2026

This Wrench in My Gears - Episode 145

Color photo of a soldier in short sleeves and khaki shorts cranking a jack along the driver’s side of a VW Kubelwagen with a flat tire. The hood over the engine compartment in the rear of the car is open. The car is beige, dirty and worn. The background appears to be a large body of water or sea with hills or mountains rising over it. The photo was taken in Sicily, Italy, in 1943. I’m not familiar enough with military uniforms to tell if this is a German or Italian soldier.
What could you do to frustrate or delay the jackbooted thugs in your community if you lived under an authoritarian regime? Where can you find more practical methods of sabotage? What’s the hair and salt for? Listen to find out!

This Wrench in My Gears, episode 145 of This Gun in My Hand, was maliciously wrecked by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What do I use on slot machines to avoid developing a gambling problem? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. This episode was inspired by Mother Bone's posts about the Simple Sabotage Field Manual, released internally in 1944 by the OSS (predecessor of the CIA) and declassified in 2018. The concepts could be used today by anyone resisting an occupying force or authoritarian regime. Direct quotes from the manual appear throughout this episode.
https://archive.org/details/simplesabotagefi26184gut/page/n5/mode/2up
2. I have pocket knives with pictures of Tarzan and Lash LaRue on the handles. Here’s a picture of a colorful Hopalong Cassidy pocket knife:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1068482143/vintage-hopalong-cassidy-pocket-knife?dd_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F
3. I thought I was being ridiculous imagining slot machines branded with 1930s comic strip characters, but apparently there was really a Blondie machine at some point, and just last year they released a video slot machine featuring The Phantom.
https://www.aristocratgaming.com/us/slots/games/the-phantom
4. Anachronism! Lash LaRue’s first film appearance was in 1944, and he only began to star in Westerns around 1947.
4. Anachronism! The comic strip Sad Sack was first published in Yank, The Army Weekly in June 1942. The generic expression “sad sack” may not have been common until after the comic strip became popular.

Credits:
Music in this episode came from three public domain films:
The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), The Scar (aka Hollow Triumph, 1948), and Killer Bait (1949). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Heels on Pavement.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/B.Harkins/sounds/683658/

Sound Effect Title: School door with metal latch inside.aif by timonunderwater 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/532788/

Fair use brief audio clip of William Shatner taken from outtake of a recording session for the 1993 PC Game Star Trek: Judgment Rites.

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of a photograph by Horst Grund from 1943 titled “Sizilien, Reifenpanne mit VW-Kübelwagen.” Italy, Sicily, 1943. A flat tire on a VW-Kübelwagen, soldier with jack going to replace the tire. By Bundesarchiv, Creative Commons License Attribution-ShareAlike Germany 3.0. (Note that the CC Attribution-Share Alike license applies only to this image, not to the text or audio from this episode.)

Image Alt text: Color photo of a soldier in short sleeves and khaki shorts cranking a jack along the driver’s side of a VW Kubelwagen with a flat tire. The hood over the engine compartment in the rear of the car is open. The car is beige, dirty and worn. The background appears to be a large body of water or sea with hills or mountains rising over it. The photo was taken in Sicily, Italy, in 1943. I’m not familiar enough with military uniforms to tell if this is a German or Italian soldier.

Saturday, December 27, 2025

Humoresce Anecdotage - Episode 144

A wobbly grid extends across a floor changing from light purple to pink as it moves to the horizon, where it forms jagged, transparent mountains. A too-spherical yellow-orange globe sits on the center of the horizon, the violet sky above dotted with stars. On the left of the landscape, a man in a brown suit and hat seems to halt in the middle of running, his hands splayed to his sides. From the lower right corner of the image, a hand aims a revolver at the startled man.

What if logicality warping? Source of warpage unknown. Gun hero prancing for answers. Will satisfying resolution evince? Only listeners find out!

Humoresce Anecdotage, episode 144 of This Gun in My Hand, was Tuesday banister by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What if cantina pickle destiny? That Gun Right There!

Show Notes:
1. Madison Standish is the star of Madison On the Air, an audio drama podcast about an internet influencer zapped into old time radio shows. The scripts are taken from actual shows, rewritten to insert Madison and performed by a modern cast. Highly recommended.
https://www.madisonontheair.com/

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music surrounding or during commercials came from “Journey Into Fear,” an episode of the radio show Hour of Mystery first broadcast on June 9, 1946.

Sound Effect Title: Glitch Element 13.wav by Glitchedtones
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/223311/ 

Sound Effect Title: Glitch Element 05.wav by Glitchedtones
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/223304/ 

Sound Effect Title: Glitch Element 06.wav by Glitchedtones
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/223303/ 

Sound Effect Title: BitCrushedGlitch1.wav by NickR2020
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/s/525050/ 

Sound Effect Title: wetfart glitch.flac by dudebroman2
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/592181/ 

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: G32-08-Buzzing Sparks.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438492/ 

Sound Effect Title: modem_sounds.wav by joedeshon
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/80288/ 

Sound Effect Title: d_s478_riding.wav by relwin
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/686059/

Sound Effect Title: emmentaler steam train.mp3 by Zozzy
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/56645/ 

Sound Effect Title: Stomach Rumble
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/yrdn/sounds/473989/

Sound Effect Title: Industrial Buzz 2.wav by DeVern
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/346396/ 

Music Title: Unus Ex Discipulis Meis (You Are One of My Students)
Composed by Tomás Luis de Victoria
Performed by Anonymous Choir
License: Public Domain
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Anonymous_Choir/Toms_Luis_de_Victorias_Unus_Ex_Discipulis_Meis/Unus_Ex_Discipulis_Meis/

Sound Effect Title: hamster in a jar.wav by Liancu
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/344728/ 

Sound Effect Title: Mouse Squeaks.wav by shyguy014
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/463789/ 

Sound Effect Title: Stampede by bevibeldesign
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/350425/ 

Sound Effect Title: Hand saw by SoundsLikeYukon
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/760611/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a collage including:
1. Background “VaporwaveWP3Print by Mike Grauer Jr_CC-BY. License: Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic. https://www.flickr.com/photos/mike_grauer/26310058937/
2. The comic book figure on the left of the picture is from the public domain comic All-True Detective Cases Number 1 (1952), art by Vince Alascia. The hand with gun is from the same issue, artist unknown.

Image Alt text: A wobbly grid extends across a floor changing from light purple to pink as it moves to the horizon, where it forms jagged, transparent mountains. A too-spherical yellow-orange globe sits on the center of the horizon, the violet sky above dotted with stars. On the left of the landscape, a man in a brown suit and hat seems to halt in the middle of running, his hands splayed to his sides. From the lower right corner of the image, a hand aims a revolver at the startled man.

Monday, December 8, 2025

Dead End on Holiday Road - Episode 143

e door open as he moves to enter it. Behind him, a young boy in yellow and black short-sleeved shirt waves. Near the top, it’s labeled DEAD END ON HOLIDAY ROAD. A box near bottom right is labeled EPISODE 143 OF THIS GUN IN MY HAND. A word balloon aimed at the man says, “Sorry, Billy. I’ve got to weld steel plates on this bus so I can deliver the padre to testify against robot imposters in Santopolis. We can play catch later, if I survive.”

Will Falk and Reverend Gusmacher survive the rows of gunbots waiting to receive them in Santopolis? Will they repel the robot invasion? When did rectal digital examination become common practice? Listen in case you might find out!

Dead End on Holiday Road, episode 143 of This Gun in My Hand, was up-armored and driven by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What will the Sandman bring you this year? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Reverend Gusmacher acts like a jerk in some ways. This is not meant as a generalization about the behavior of all clergy or members of his denomination. Any factual errors should be blamed on the characters, not the writer.
2. Why does Falk say “robit” sometimes and “robot” other times? Because he’s making an effort to say it the way everybody else does but forgetting sometimes.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: chugging diesel (bus) and rev.MP3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/CraftyIndividual/sounds/418436/

Sound Effect Title: WaHi Airbrakes blast.mp3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/chripei/sounds/393663/

Sound Effect Title: Gear Grinding  Sound Effect 14
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixw7jInQvKo

Sound Effect Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x
Recorded by Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: Machine gun.wav by CGEffex
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/101962/

Sound Effect Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot) by Carmelomike
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

Sound Effect Title: S18-25 Rifle shots battle.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675666/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the back cover from the public domain Greyhound promotional comic book Driving Like a Pro (1958), artist unknown.
https://digitalcomicmuseum.com/preview/index.php?did=31501

Image Alt text: Comic book art of a passenger bus, an angled view near the front door. A smiling man in dark blue uniform and cap holds the door open as he moves to enter it. Behind him, a young boy in yellow and black short-sleeved shirt waves. Near the top, it’s labeled DEAD END ON HOLIDAY ROAD. A box near bottom right is labeled EPISODE 143 OF THIS GUN IN MY HAND. A word balloon aimed at the man says, “Sorry, Billy. I’ve got to weld steel plates on this bus so I can deliver the padre to testify against robot imposters in Santopolis. We can play catch later, if I survive.”

Friday, November 28, 2025

When the Revolution Scrums - Episode 142

Painting of a battle between men in beige uniforms and workers in newsboy caps and blue overalls waving red flags or banners. In the foreground, an angry woman in an orange dress carrying a baby pushes away a sabre thrust by one of the soldiers. A man next to her pulls away to avoid the thrust. There’s a man on the ground behind them clutching his stomach or chest.

The Revolution has come and it’s interrupting a team meeting. Who are these brave men and women fighting for freedom, wherever there’s trouble? Will Falk stand with them or against them? Would you believe I’m a cyborg? Listen to find out!

When the Revolution Scrums, episode 142 of This Gun in My Hand, was produced by the means of Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I signal the beginning or end of the two week intervals by which we measure progress in the revolution? With This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Thanks to W. Town Andrews for pointing out the mispronunciation of “Tagalog” in episode 140.
2. The Witchy Lion Closet was published in 1950, so Billy must have heard the story from Catch-2022.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: gavel-double.flac
By zerolagtime (Sen. John Kerry recorded from C-Span)
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/zerolagtime/sounds/70069/

Sound Effect Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x
Recorded by Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

Sound Effect Title: Kicking/Forcing/Breaking Wooden Door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/qubodup/sounds/160213/

Sound Effect Title: Running in boots on wood floors by ayse.j.e
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/785429/ 

Commercial Song Title: The Fairy Queen, Z. 629
Composed by Henry Purcell, 1692.
Performed by Carl Pini, John Tunnell, Anthony Pini and Harold Lester.
License: Public Domain
https://musopen.org/music/11140-the-fairy-queen-z629/

Sound Effect Title: Wind-up Crank by RICHERlandTV
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/265614/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Sound Effect Title: R02-06-Medium Crowd Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480682/ 

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: G32-08-Buzzing Sparks.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438492/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail from The Uprising by Diego Rivera, 1931.

Image Alt text: Painting of a battle between men in beige uniforms and workers in newsboy caps and blue overalls waving red flags or banners. In the foreground, an angry woman in an orange dress carrying a baby pushes away a sabre thrust by one of the soldiers. A man next to her pulls away to avoid the thrust. There’s a man on the ground behind them clutching his stomach or chest.

Friday, November 14, 2025

Bringing a Gun to a Fistfight - Episode 141

Line art from a comic book. One silhouetted figure slugs another in the stomach. The background is all yellow, a row of spectators gathered around the fighters. The caption across the top reads “BRINGING A GUN TO A FISTFIGHT!” One of the spectators says, “Don’t listen to that dame, Joe. I been wit ya from the starta your career. Don’t I make sure they take all the butterscotch disks outta the candy dish in ya dressing room?”
Why is a bank robber giving up so easily in the middle of a gunfight? Why did he bring a crowd of people to cheer him on? Who chose the snacks to sell at this spectacle? Listen to find out!

Bringing a Gun to a Fistfight, episode 141 of This Gun in My Hand, was set-up and knocked down by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I keep lawns tidy? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The expression “win one for the Gipper” came from the film Knute Rockne, All-American, released in October 1940.
2. This episode was inspired by the 1949 film The Set-Up. Doses of wicked humor between scenes of drama and tension and cynicism.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950). Music throughout the first commercial came from The Scar (aka Hollow Triumph, 1948), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), all three films in the public domain. Music from the second commercial came from the radio show Hour of Mystery, first broadcast June 9th, 1946. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot) by Carmelomike
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: Manwe-metal_tools_on_concrete.wav by Manwe
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/238650/

Sound Effect Title: single classic blink.wav by ShangASDFGuy123 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/795943/ 

Sound Effect Title: G30-69-Outdoor Crowd Walla.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438429/

Sound Effect Title: Machine gun.wav by CGEffex 
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/101962/

Sound Effect Title: S29-08 Navy ship classic danger whistle siren.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/675782/ 

Sound Effect Title: Bare feet on wood floor.wav by treblemaker69 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/565609/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified panel from the public domain comic book Web of Mystery, July 1954, issue 25. Artist unknown.

Image Alt text: Line art from a comic book. One silhouetted figure slugs another in the stomach. The background is all yellow, a row of spectators gathered around the fighters. The caption across the top reads “BRINGING A GUN TO A FISTFIGHT!” One of the spectators says, “Don’t listen to that dame, Joe. I been wit ya from the starta your career. Don’t I make sure they take all the butterscotch disks outta the candy dish in ya dressing room?”

Friday, October 31, 2025

Passage to the Orient - Episode 140

Colorful line art drawing from the perspective of a pier. In the foreground is a white boat with red cabin. The sail on a single mast is lowered and furled. A man lounges in a wooden chair, tipped back behind the ship’s wheel, his feet propped on the rail of the boat with a fan in his hand. Judging by the small smokestack over the cabin, it has an engine, or maybe it’s a vent for a stove. Close to the front of the boat, we can see the aft and steering oar of a Chinese junk. Both vessels appear to be moored to the pier. A bay with distant strips of land stretches toward the horizon with two junks a short distance away, their sails yellow and green and red. Massive white clouds take up almost half of the view.
Imagine a mild-mannered white guy who takes on a non-white identity to fight crime. Wouldn’t 1939 radio producers do an amazing job with that? Listen to find out!

Passage to the Orient, episode 140 of This Gun in My Hand, was smuggled into your ears by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What martial art is even more deadly than ninyutsu? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. “Castello” means castle in Italian, “Lupo” means wolf, and “roccia” means “rock.” In German it would be something like “Wolfenstein.”
2. Raymond Tokutaro Muramoto, the voice actor who originated Kato on the Green Hornet radio show, was a Japanese immigrant. In real life, he was sent to an internment camp during World War II. Here’s a short bio I wrote about him:
https://archive.org/details/the-first-kato
http://dayjobspodcast.blogspot.com/2022/03/the-first-kato.html 
3. Read more about the young political firebrand Nguyễn Ái Quốc after whom Harlan plans to name his radio hero:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho_Chi_Minh
4. As always, listeners should be skeptical of any claims made by characters in the show, especially if they’re trying to define a term like “code-switching” that hadn’t been coined and wasn’t in use in 1939. The opinions of these clowns do not necessarily reflect my own so I’m off the hook for any lies or mistakes they make.
5. This episode was inspired by Straight Arrow, a radio show broadcast from 1948-1951. An Apache orphan raised by a white couple maintains the identity of “Steve Adams” until it’s time to fight crime as Apache warrior “Straight Arrow.” Elements were ripped off from The Lone Ranger, like the cavern full of gold that funds his crime-fighting. Only his trusted friend “Packy” the crusty miner who sounds like Gabby Hayes knows the truth. Lots of talk about his innate Apache abilities, his keen Indian eyesight, and Straight Arrow drops his voice and speaks haltingly, although not quite in broken English like Tonto. 
https://www.radioechoes.com/?page=series&genre=OTR-Western&series=Straight%20Arrow

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Matkustajakone / Passenger plane DC-3 (Dakota) - Sisällä / Inside by YleArkisto
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/406952/ 

Sound Effect Title: FOLEY_Footsteps_Metal_002.wav by conleec 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/149454/ 

Sound Effect Title: Wind shaking a tree, loud and muffled gust of wind recorded in Nebraska by felix.blume
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/657003/ 

Sound Effect Title: Cracking wood by JappeHallunken 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/501302/ 

Sound Effect Title: dry branches cracking.aiff by SoundCollectah 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/109357/ 

Sound Effect Title: Foley_Natural_Wood_Barks_Crush_Mono.wav by Nox_Sound 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/558380/ 

Sound Effect Title: Rustling leaves by giddster 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/437356/ 

Sound Effect Title: Walking Through Tall Grass by naturenotesuk 
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/698895/ 

Sound Effect Title: dawn_birds.wav by paul.h
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/557332/ 

Sound Effect Title: Usignolo - Nightingale by danygdanyg
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/234169/ 

Sound Effect Title: Tuscan Birdsong.wav by gazsound 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/156002/ 

Sound Effect Title: G57-05-Creature Getting Stabbed.wav by craigsmith 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438891/ 

Sound Effect Title: G24-01-Warner Brothers Body Fall.wav by craigsmith 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438300/ 

Sound Effect Title: School door with metal latch inside.aif by timonunderwater 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/532788/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Dropping Body on Hard Ground.wav by jjhouse4
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/203039/ 

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: S16-06 Light wooden door open & close.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675878/

Sound Effect Title: Kicking rock wall and almost falling. by Edelhanie 
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/594623/ 

Sound Effect Title: Air raid siren in Kyiv by Romaner66 
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/676589/ 

Sound Effect Title: 22lr Caliber Rifle Shots and Reloading 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/717133/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the back cover of Terry and the Pirates (Big Little Book #1156) released in 1935, art and text attributed to Milton Caniff, public domain.

Image Alt text: Colorful line art drawing from the perspective of a pier. In the foreground is a white boat with red cabin. The sail on a single mast is lowered and furled. A man lounges in a wooden chair, tipped back behind the ship’s wheel, his feet propped on the rail of the boat with a fan in his hand. Judging by the small smokestack over the cabin, it has an engine, or maybe it’s a vent for a stove. Close to the front of the boat, we can see the aft and steering oar of a Chinese junk. Both vessels appear to be moored to the pier. A bay with distant strips of land stretches toward the horizon with two junks a short distance away, their sails yellow and green and red. Massive white clouds take up almost half of the view.    

Tuesday, October 14, 2025

Bottle Episode - Episode 139

Line art panel from a comic book. A man with red hair wearing green scrubs and holding a scalpel leans over a man on a gurney or table, covered by a white sheet. Angled skylight windows are behind the surgeon. A light hangs low over the table. Dark glass jars like you might see in a laboratory are in the foreground, connected to each other by tubes. Caption across the top reads “HOW WILL FALK AND PETRA ESCAPE – THE BOTTLE EPISODE!” A word balloon  pointing to the surgeon reads, “OH MY GOD, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT TECHNO! THE TEREMIN INFLUENCE COMES FROM PETROGRAD, BUT ANY IDIOT KNOW THAT DUBSTEP EMERGED AS A UK GARAGE OFFSHOT BLENDING 2-STEP RHYTHMS WITH SPARSE…” The font in the word balloon gets smaller and smaller toward the end.
Why did Falk follow Petra into this stupid walk-in refrigerator? Why are the shelves filled with human heads in bottles? Are you some kind of non-partisan, crime-adjacent figure? Listen to find out!

Bottle Episode, This Gun in My Hand’s 139th, was kept alive and shoved in a jar by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. Which is the real monster, the creator? His creation? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Falk’s claim about what temperature constitutes “t-shirt weather” in Michigan is debatable. You’ll see some people not of sound minds wearing short sleeves and shorts at 30 F or less.
2. The Technocrat quotes from the Wikipedia entry on Dubstep without giving attribution. He might be a plagiarist but I’m not. This is me, Rob Northrup, giving attribution that I quoted most of a line from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubstep which “emerged as a UK garage offshoot that blended two-step rhythms and sparse dub production, incorporating elements of broken beat, grime, and drum and bass.” 
3. Musical subgenres are way too arcane for me to understand so my characters don’t understand it either. I’m not vouching for any of the claims they make.

Credits:
The opening and later music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Large Refrigerator compressor hum 1 by FOSSarts 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/740110/  

Sound Effect Title: Hissing.m4a by TheScarlettWitch89 
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/s/415287/ 

Sound Effect Title: School door with metal latch inside.aif by timonunderwater 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/532788/ 

Sound Effect Title: School door with metal latch inside.aif by timonunderwater 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/532788/ 

Sound Effect Title: Heavy_door_lock.wav by beerbelly38 
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/197305/ 

Music Title: You’re Driving Me Crazy
Composed by Walter Donaldson, 1930
Performed by Lennington H. Shewell and Allan McIver.
License: Public Domain
https://archive.org/details/VictorThereminRecordingsCollection1925-1935/You're+Driving+Me+Crazy+1930+VIctor+Theremin+-+Victor+216559.mp3

Sound Effect Title: techloop7.wav by fons 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/62441/ 

Sound Effect Title: TECHNO LOOP 1.wav by adamskitek 
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/33585/ 

Sound Effect Title: TECHNO LOOP SPEEDY J STYLEE.wav by adamskitek
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/33614/ 

Sound Effect Title: Kick Bass Bassline OffBeat Loop F#1 142bpm PsyTrance Vol3 SYNDRM.wav by SYNDRM 
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/s/612061/ 

Sound Effect Title: Drum & Bass Drum Loop 02 by TheEndOfACycle 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/660537/ 

Sound Effect Title: Edm Strontium Sweep with reverb.wav by LeeNath 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/277409/ 

Sound Effect Title: bass_line_drums_jz22.mp3 by JoaoSantaCruz 
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/649209/ 

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of a panel from the public domain comic book Forbidden Worlds, Number 33, September 1954. Pencils and inks by Lloyd Cynwald.

Image Alt text: Line art panel from a comic book. A man with red hair wearing green scrubs and holding a scalpel leans over a man on a gurney or table, covered by a white sheet. Angled skylight windows are behind the surgeon. A light hangs low over the table. Dark glass jars like you might see in a laboratory are in the foreground, connected to each other by tubes. Caption across the top reads “HOW WILL FALK AND PETRA ESCAPE – THE BOTTLE EPISODE!” A word balloon  pointing to the surgeon reads, “OH MY GOD, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT TECHNO! THE TEREMIN INFLUENCE COMES FROM PETROGRAD, BUT ANY IDIOT KNOW THAT DUBSTEP EMERGED AS A UK GARAGE OFFSHOT BLENDING 2-STEP RHYTHMS WITH SPARSE…” The font in the word balloon gets smaller and smaller toward the end.